How can a father be engaged in fathering his children if he is locked in his office at home spending countless hours viewing porno sites on the internet?
Would it not be better to try and understand what is happening here between males and females and, through that understanding, develop better ways to cope with this problem?
Part of the reason why women are so angry about internet pornography is that it takes their men away from the family and from themselves.
The experience of shame is humiliating and includes feeling a sense of disgust and mortification about the self.
Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.
It goes without saying that masturbation occurs in isolation, at least under these circumstances, and the wife or partner is not involved in this solo activity. Why do so many men view porn in private and keep it secret from their wives, even from those wives who are willing partners in jointly viewing pornography as a "turn on" preceding foreplay and intercourse? One of the reasons why men who are married, engaged to be married, or have a girl friend with whom they are sexually active, engage in the viewing of pornography in secret has to do with an emotion we recently visited called shame.
Let us see if we can figure out some answers instead of engaging in condemnation. As has been stated in other weblog entries on this site, shame has to do with deep feelings of self-disapproval.In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.To this day there remains the double standard that for men it is permissible to be sexual but for women sexuality represents being immoral and sinful.None of this is mean to imply that the men who watch pornography have these problems.It does imply that many men fear that these things could happen.For women, feelings of shame often have to do with body image issues.