Example: Many devoutly Christian girls (particularly younger girls) in churches and youth groups across America.
Plus, being an island out their in the largely not-devoutly-faithful world can cause problems of it own…it can dilute your faith.
Advantages Examples: Most couples who wait-until-marriage and then get into a long-term relationship in their early-to-mid 20’s end up falling into this category out of shear desire for physical intimacy.
Like those that choose the “No Dating” method, people in this category can be driven and deeply spiritual. They can keep one foot planted in their own personal goals and ambitions, while keeping up a pleasant romantic relationship and not wanting too much more.
They keep up their faith and they keep their attention divided so that they don’t feel too frustrated about not being able to dive fully into their romantic relationship.
The other methods (No Dating, Holding Hands/Kissing Only) are admirable and you applaud those that can maintain them, but they’re not for you. Those who use the “everything but” method to wait until marriage are often islands, meaning that they can survive on their own apart from Christian communities.
Because some level of sexual activity is on the table, it opens them up to relationships with people who aren’t waiting till marriage but are willing to wait for them (since they still get sexual release it’s not as hard to exclude that one thing). Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too, but sometimes that’s conflicting.
You can be friends with members of the opposite sex, but nothing more than that until you’re ready to marry somebody. They are putting all of their chips on God, even moreso than others who are waiting till marriage but still allowing themselves to date. It’s OK to date and be romantically interested in members of the opposite sex.
People who choose this path are often extremely driven and deeply in touch with their faith. Example: The Christian rock band Barlow Girl is famous for embracing the “no dating” approach. And when you like somebody, it’s nice to be able to express that feeling with physical affection.
People using this method often run into value conflicts with the people they get into relationships with.
The only good match is another “everthing but” person, and that’s hard to find in the circles that these people typically run.
When a non-virgin thinks about this objection, they are picturing you marrying somebody and then awkwardly struggling to perform while the other person is mildly frustrated, waiting on you to “catch up”, and meanwhile comparing you to all the people before you who were way better.