And sometimes, I need to be told I shouldn’t wear that, because it doesn’t do anything for me. And so, suddenly, with Teri’s own newfound openness, I’m a straight person, again.
Interestingly, it’s really hard, within the visible elements of the trans community, to find a trans man trans woman couple.
However, my queerness is not a moving target – I am still queer.
A discussion about queering heterosexuality, alongside the conversation about what trans men can contribute to a desperately needed reboot of manhood.But, so, with my recent Mira Goes Het article, I focused on the relationship between our heteroqueer relationship and the heteropatriarchy. I want to know how we be objects of desire without the weirdness.I was able to sneak my way into some excellent seminars, led by trans men and about trans masculine sexuality***, and this was pretty great.I made some new friends, and I brought home something**** autographed for Teri (do go check out Mitch’s site, too, he’s so cool) to spark further discussion back home.There were Arin Andrews and Katie Hill, for a hot minute, but at least as a couple, they didn’t last (this isn’t a criticism, they seem to both be doing very well, and to have remained close, and more power to them! There are one or two stories like this one, about a trans couple having children.
These stories tend to be transition-centric, and in the case of the Andrews/Hill relationship, transient.He said, basically, “You know, I date everyone except cis guys.” This was non-controversial … And “Honey, I feel you, I dated a cis guy, once.” I did feel badly for the one cis gay guy present, but then again, he made a comment something along the lines of, “You know, if my partner has a vagina, I’m going to want to penetrate that” and… Apparently, another trans guy (because Teri’s Dear Future Husband) chimed in and was open about his own attraction to trans women. The difference between these statements, how they were perceived, and where they came from, was — is — worrisome to me.That was “okay” because he was one of “us.” In contrast, the original poster (OP for you OG’s) was cisgender, and so he was… Also on Facebook a friend posted an article about what lesbian-identified trans women (a class from which I’m increasingly the dearly departed) refer to as the “cotton ceiling” (namely, because I’m using my footnotes up too quickly today, and I feel bad when I get to ten asterisks, when cis lesbians accept trans women conceptually but reject them as potential partners for cis lesbians, either in the general sense of the dating scene, or the specific sense of dating them, themselves). We cannot extend a blanket statement that people attracted to trans women’s bodies are disgusting, without in turn, making an unacceptable but implicit statement that my body, too, is disgusting.I am taking no easy road out of anything (although, arguably, when I tell the car dealer I can’t make a decision, because “I have to go home and ask my boyfriend for advice,” I may be treading some fine line).In our case, in any event, the conversation was a gradual shift in tone.And I’m desirable, not to everyone, but to the one that matters, not because I’m exactly the same as other women (because we’re not Barbie dolls …