If someone is giving you the rundown on their job, living situation, or creative endeavors and sound disgruntled or cynical, don't be afraid to ask them this question as a follow-up.They will probably appreciate the opportunity to reflect, and if you can tell that they seem to be answering one way while their body language is telling you something else, that tells you a lot about their potential to be honest with themselves and with you.If you can either ask or answer this question honestly and kindly, in my book, you're a self-aware person. I was once on a date with no chemistry where I was honest with him about some confusion I'd had reading his profile.
Instead of worrying a ton about coming off as charming, or asking a bunch of questions that will somehow ingratiate the other person towards me, I'm just myself — and own it.
We know confidence is hot, but more specifically, I think what we mean when we say that is that honest and kind confidence is hot.
Their ability to answer it will show you whether this is a person worth your time, and it's even a nice way to let them know you think they're a catch.
OK, so you don't have to ask this on a first date, but too often, people wait to ask about STD testing until they're in the heat of the moment.
Anyone who tells you these types of topics are "too personal" for a first date is clearly more interested in having a second date than they are having a compatible partner.
It's OK to have moral dealbreakers, even when it comes to casual dating.My current partner asked me about my belief in eating animals on our first date, and non-monogamy on the second.These were two moral issues that he'd learned were important to him in any relationship, and far from feeling tested or judged when he asked me about them, I appreciated his directness and interest in my answers.As long as you're not asking the question judgmentally, there's no reason why they should be offended by it.You have a right to know whether you're about to get involved with someone who's more passive than you'd like.If you can tell a date is going well, and there's a natural opening for this — like maybe if you find yourselves making out, or talking about something sexy or your health — it is totally legit to ask this ahead of when you'd actually want to have sex.