I hate how he become too defensive about it even if he told me that he was just scared to have the same experience like what happened to him and his second wife ( they divorced because they kept on fussing over the same thing). Your boyfriend will fall more deeply in love once he sees how compatible you are to his children. I don't think you're wrong in feeling that way, but maybe you just don't really understand his point of view.i don't want us to end up like that coz i love him so much. going back to your problem, i think you are in a better situation. Not knowing him or you, I'm only speaking from personal experience.I've never felt like this, so it's hard for me to turn my back on it just because they aren't happy with it. Coming from experience, it is really up to you if it is worth it. I feel ill about it all now and am deciding if I can, and will it always be like this. I want to be married and possibly have kids of my own. I don't want to be in the same place I am now a year from now and I'm really worried I will be. Guy, I appreciated reading the other post you send.
In my opinion only, it MAY be that he is just not comfortable enough with your relationship yet to involve his kids heavily. Try to be very understanding and have a long talk with him to express your concerns. I want him to be a good father, put his children first, go to all the fball games and track meets, but does that mean putting my feelings,needs,wants, on a shelf...settling?!Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. I know that he wants to spend more time together and that the situation isn't ideal, but at what point does it become a deal breaker? If it's possible love them as much as you love him and it will work out fine. I would say that you need to let him know your feeling and how you would like to be involoved in his activities with his kids.have been with im for 8 months and he must be confused about you or you would be apart of that play time already so make it Loud & Clear what u want out of you relationship with him! i am dating a guy whom i fell so madly in love with but he was divorced twice and had three kids.Remember who are you sleeping next to at night and how important is that to you.Its pretty simple love is black and white either you do or you dont.It is hard to think about being 2nd, but, if I had kids, they'd come first no matter what, so I love him all the more for getting his priorities straight. Kids are kids, but not forever, and they grow up fast, so give it time, and hopefully it'll work out for the best. I think now at the time I was vulnarable and lonely. Then he had another kid with some girl that he ahd a one night stand with. His baby mamas were terrible to me, always trying to start stuff to much drama I felt like I was on a continuous episode of Jerry Springer. I just want to say it may be great now, but hows it going to be 4 years from now. I wish I could say I had had my husbands first kid not his fourth. Mush as I wanted to accept all his flaws, he was so adamant to compromise anything. now I am very happy with my new man, very responsible, no exwife, no kids. Its the notion well I caught an ok fish but do I really want to put the effort in throwing it back so I can fish for something better. If you love someone but you arent sure then its not love Ive had to learn this.
Money was always tight because of his child support. What do you want in life I never thought about it then, but I think about it everyday now. LOL...seems like decades ago when I wrote about my story here. Someone once told me if a man really loves you hell move heaven and earth for you. If hes putting you on the back burner for other things then its not love its convience for them.
i have told him that i'll be in need of counselling to help me adjust once we get married (by the way, we're planning to get married in few months). My boyfriend (father of 2) felt somewhat guilty about not being able to keep his family together.
He wanted to be 100% sure that I was right for his familym, not just him. I tried everything to make it work I married him, and we eventually had a son.
Its a sensitive topic, and I do want to marry this man and be a part of their lives as a whole, so does that mean I need to suck it up?! I am dating a divorced guy with four kids who he has custody of. I know that I will be second to his children and I can't possibly expect him to put me above his kids. i haven't met his kids but there is one thing that i can't control; i am having difficulty in dealing with this situation although my boyfriend only sees the kids every summer.
i don't hate them, i just don't like the way my boyfriend reacts every time we get get to argue about that (i never start any argument, he always talk harsh whenever these kids are involved). you don't need to ask for your boyfriend's permission coz once the kid loved you, he/she will find a way to be friends with you.
I am trying to be patient as he's asked me to do so.