And you’ll have kids for sure, because that cements the argument. Japanese people value working ridiculously hard, and they’ll expect you to do the same. Seems like you’d have no problem if you were willing to A) Settle for anything that walks, and B) Plan interesting activities for your loved one to enjoy, do virtually all of the talking, and pretend to find him infinitely fascinating. That’s some of what dating a Japanese woman entails.
This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English.
What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.
Anyway, I just try to present what I’ve learned and experienced in the most authentic way possible, so hopefully others can think about Japan in a well-rounded manner.” Sure, Just walk up and Whoops! Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.
First of all, understand that very few Japanese women are interested in dating men of other races. Of course, if you hang around in gaijin bars, then yeah, you’ll meet the one-percent of “Japanese chicks who study English.” And they’ll come equipped with tons of stereotypical ideas about white, black, and miscellaneous brown people. Don’t forget to mention your manga collection and the fact you’re a yellow belt in karate. So when you initially meet someone new, you’re already pre-defined as “a foreigner,” someone whose skin color, clothing, habits, and beliefs places them instantly outside of the social order. Or are you just going to peace out back to Canada and live with your mom after a couple of years? Case in point, I ran in my buddy Tim-Bob the other day, having beers in a gaijin bar.
Today I’m very happy to present you a guest post by a great fellow Japan blogger. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, and I highly recommend reading his blog. You’ll learn what life in Japan is really like – in a funny and sometimes sarcastic way. This has had some mixed results, but at least my wardrobe looks fantastic and my cholesterol level is nice and low.
I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English.
Or if you’re desperate to get married and trapped in a place where no one else is available, well hey, prison wedding. Women have very real constraints and concerns in this society.
It’s by no means easy being a woman, of any race, in Japan. But here, I’m only presenting the male perspective. There’s a whole flip side to this story that bears keeping in mind.
Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier. Chicks dig a guy with the ability to smuggle ET to safety. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Your wife can’t make more, since she’s a Japanese woman, but Oh, you sure can. Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.
Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.
That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Even the ones who’ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.