Similar research also supports this idea: a gradual approach allows children time to adjust to their parents’ dating (and the new dating partner) at a pace that allows for successful parenting.If the decision has been made to bring the new partner into the child’s life, make sure that they meet on neutral territory (i.e., not home) in a casual setting.With the US divorce rate still lingering around 50% for first marriages, many children have experienced their parents’ divorce by the time they are eighteen.
While there have been several studies on divorce, remarriage and step-parenting, very few exist for the courtship period parents go through before remarriage.Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.Specifically, single mothers’ dating behaviors directly influenced their son’s sexual behaviors, and indirectly influenced their daughter’s sexual behaviors by affecting her attitudes on sex.Parents should talk about appropriate behavior for adults and adolescents before either side starts an intimate relationship.“It’s not good to introduce your children to a lot of different people,” says Steven Spector, Ph.
D., a West Bloomfield therapist and assistant professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at Wayne State University School of Medicine. The West Bloomfield mom of nine (seven of her own plus two stepsons) cringes about how many men her husband’s ex has traipsed through their boys’ lives.
Remember that meeting a new partner will bring up many emotions for children. The effects of divorced mothers’ dating behaviors and sexual attitudes on the sexual attitudes and behaviors of their adolescent children. For related content, check out our Divorced Mom’s Guide to Dating site here!
Sticking to neutral turf helps the parent provide the necessary structure children may need while being introduced to new partners.
It’s a different game to date when you’re a parent and while there are no hard and fast rules, parents and experts agree on some guidelines – the least of which is, let them be ready before you are.
“No matter their ages, explain (to your children) why you’re dating and that no one will ever replace the other parent,” says Dr.
Tread carefully when introducing children to your new partner.