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I have never been interested in dating men much older than me (frankly I don’t have a single girlfriend, married or single, who is so inclined).

If you have to ask yourself , “Are they interested? Is there something about you physically or personality-wise that might be turning men off? You literally have to stop yourself from saying things like “Every women/man” is this or that.You have to de-program yourself from thinking negatively.But it’s there and the amount deposited into my business account gets larger each month. Tell yourself that it will happen and it will happen.But counting the reasons why fate is against you and you’re creating a big wall that will be very hard to scale. Stop focusing on what doesn’t work and start focusing on what does work. this keeps your profile at the top of search lists when guys get online to browse. If you left your ad up 3 months ago and haven’t logged in since, they might assume you are no longer interested, already seeing someone, or maybe they just didn’t make it that far down the search list (you might no be on page one any more). And while I might nitpick with a line or two, on the whole, I think Moxie knocked it out of the park.

Name: Betty | Location: New York , NY |Question: I am not sure if you have asked/answered this question before but I was wondering if you had any advice where a single woman in her late thirties could meet marriage/family minded men who are around my age?You’re basically setting yourself up to fail when you focus on what you don’t have or on people that aren’t interested in you.(Remember the other suggestion I made up thread – Learn when to walk away.) The more focus you put on what you are lacking, the more power you give to that idea and the more prevalent it becomes.So use online dating in conjunction with 2-3 other ways to meet someone. Take a home improvement class or a cooking class or a writing class. Switch it up or do all these things in conjunction with each other. Really work on being approachable in any situation. Go to bars to socialize, to hang out, to de-stress. And it’s usually one of these: We want it all right now. We assume that if someone doesn’t feel the same way we do when we do then they aren’t right for us.Walk with your head up, make eye contact, smile…it at the deli, on the subway, at church…where ever. But don’t go to a bar with the specific intent of meeting a man. Ladies – Stop going out in groups of 3 or more single friends. Ignoring issues that are getting in the way of being happy and secure? We grow resentful of those people who do have an easier time meeting someone and that resentment morphs in to bitterness and negativity. A fear that we will never meet anyone, that we will end up alone.Most will assume that a 38 year old woman will want kids. The age we are at (35-40) is probably the toughest of all. They’re contacting me because they think “She’s 38 and using online dating so she must be somewhat anxious or desperate and will give me a second glance.” If they’re not thinking that way, then they are men so lacking in self-awareness that you wouldn’t want to date them anyway.