It’s a message that says “I’m too chicken-shit to/couldn’t be bothered to take the effort to write you first and so I’m hoping you’ll do the hard part for me.” It’s the Platonic Friend Gambit of online dating. You want to stand out from the crowd of men who are messaging her already. You need to keep certain guidelines in mind and build yourself a first contact template. One that doesn’t like a cut-and-paste job, but one that you can modify on the fly for any girl you might want to get in touch with. Shouldn’t you be carefully reading each girl’s profile and crafting each message to the girl like a special poem indicating just how special she is? And so,with an eye towards efficiency, you want to use your template to streamline the process while still maintaining that personal touch. Anything else a) makes you look like an illiterate and b) is going to turn her off about as fast as telling her you like to roll naked in week-old fish guts.
You want to her expectations and tempt her into replying to you. Now keep in mind: you’re not doing a complete copy and paste here (er… Second: You are conveying a specific attitude of confidence and curiosity.
Great conversations mean you have something to offer intellectually, not just that you’re angling for the fast lane into her panties.
The Sign Off: “Talk soon,” Obligatory disclaimer: Obviously, there are no sure things in life, and there is no formula that will guarantee a response from every girl online.
The subject line of the emails then proves to be an initial filter.
This is why I am a great fan of the Dadaist subject line.
like randomly approaching strangers and demanding that they get coffee with you.
But now that you’ve had some time to try things out…Did I mention that you’re talking about her physical appearance? She’s attractive to you because of something about who she is, not just how she looks.You’re Interested In Finding Out More About Her: You want to know if she’s as interesting and attractive as she is in her profile. Acknowledge The Obvious: You know damn good and well that you’re the 10,000th person to message her. About You: This is where you introduce/brag about yourself in miniature.Now that you’ve had a week or two to write up your profile and dip your toe into the world of online dating, it’s time to take a step back and take stock. Even a terse “Fuck off, cave troll” means that at least you’re being heard. It’s one of those times that makes you feel like you’re ready to scrap the whole idea and try your hand in places where you might have more success… Or are you sending a lot of messages out into the void, never to be heard from again? Much like in real life, the only reaction that really infuriates is reaction.Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function.