They can be truly, madly, deeply, and endlessly in love, yet just not care for sex.
“If you loved me, you’d want sex with me.” It’s even possible that the asexual partner does enjoy sex, but are afraid to let their partner know that they don’t find them sexually attractive.And so, they put on an act of attraction and will say things like “You’re so hot” or “You turn me on so much” when that’s not actually the case. It’s possible to love someone you’re not sexually attracted to. They like to talk about what they’ve done, what they’d like to do, and what they’ve heard about other people doing.Sometimes, people may notice that you’ve gone quiet and think that you’re offended by where the conversation has gone, but that’s not necessarily the case.You’ve gone quiet because you’ve got no input, no commentary, no questions.You often find sex scenes in books/TV/movies to be out of place or boring.
You’re watching a movie when suddenly the male and female leads start going at it for no reason: [fast forward!
Many asexuals describe having a sort of “Emperor’s New Clothes” view of sex at some point in their lives: That everyone else is just pretending to like it simply because everyone else seems to like it, and they don’t want to be the only one who speaks out and says “No, I’m not really into that.” In this view, a sexually charged culture enforces conformity.
This view often comes about during the teenage years.
This may lead to thoughts like, “Well, I never got interested in sex, so maybe no one else really did, either.
Maybe they’re all just faking to fit in.” Which brings us to… Sometimes, some asexuals will feel pressured to pretend to be interested in sex in order to fit in. ” …and you sputter out something about Johnny or Sally, not because you’re actually interested in them, but because they seemed like acceptable options to use to hide how you really feel, because if you told your friends how you really feel, they’d just laugh at you and think you’re a freak. Eventually, you may even end up in a relationship and…
Some asexuals may even look at this and think that’s bizarre. The whole concept is so different from how they look at the same scenario that it may be impossible for them to process those actions into something that makes sense. Some asexuals don’t connect with the word “hot” and other words describing someone’s sexual desirability.