A cheater may try to cover his charging trail by switching to online statements or blocking your access to accounts.
"If you go to call on a credit card, and they've put a password on it that didn't exist before, that's a telltale sign that something is going on," warns Francine Gargano, a family law attorney in Watchung, N. Don't let a little roadblock stop you; use the information you do have, says Winston.
For your safety, do not disclose confidential or personal information such as bank account numbers or social security numbers.
I had to smile.'" See related: How to cope when spouse's secret debts come to light, Divorce and debt: Advice on dividing up, paying off debt, Resist racking up debt to get back at cheating spouse We encourage an active and insightful conversation among our users.
Please help us keep our community civil and respectful.
Among the red flags are unexplained and implausible charges for: Indeed, some expenditures will stand out dramatically (it's tough to justify Victoria's Secret purchases for a client), but others might not be such obvious markers. In the case of an unusually expensive gas bill, for example, ask about it and listen for nonsensical excuses.
"Cheaters come up with stories, like 'I had to go to Bob's and I knew you'd be mad.'" says Winston.
Not all are tripped up by the scent of an unfamiliar cologne or perfume, however.
Many are found out by their fishy charging and spending habits.
Pay special attention to ATM withdrawals on the checking account statements, too, says Bourne.
"For debit cards, it will list where money has been drawn.
"They eventually got divorced and he married the mistress.
Fifteen years later, the new wife came to me, saying, 'I know my husband is cheating' and brought the credit card statements that proved it.
The text alert and email alerts are usually one of the first things we tell the spouse to do. Cheaters have a tendency to cover their tracks so by the time the statement comes in the mail, they've formulated their excuse. "Checking each other's credit reports provides details about new accounts, balances owed, inquires, new cellphone accounts, etc.," says Winston, who explains that as with credit and checking account statements, if the other person is cagey about sharing, you have reason to question: "What are they hiding? " If your partner refuses to hand over his report, you can't legally access his or her complete file, even if you're married. box or another location, it will show up there." Add a text alert to credit accounts Even if the statements and credit report turn up nothing, but you remain convinced that your loved one is loving someone else, you may have another way to catch him or her in the act. Charges that are -- and aren't -- supposed to be made will ping on your cellphone immediately.