During a recent connection with my partner’s partner, we started to look at many of the ways we are different and how that allows our mutual partner to thrive in unique ways with each of us.
In the past, we had spent a lot of time sharing how similar we were. Not only was this bringing each of us self-doubt, it was poisoning our ability to communicate clearly because we were holding onto things and feeling shame.
You have a choice to stay open, to breathe into the heart when you notice you want to close and to soften your posture.Of course, this doesn’t mean to stay in dangerous or abusive situations.However, instead of using this as a weapon of comparison, you can bring it into your existing relationship, and even your bedroom.You and your partner can communicate to decide how much you each want to explicitly share your new experiences and thus share this new energy.But as we went through a little rough patch, we noticed that we were both falling into the game of comparison (i.e. When we finally expressed these feelings and thoughts, we both felt a huge relief that reinstated our more transparent communication.
You can start to discern if you’re experiencing life from your heart or mind by being on the lookout for 3 kinds of thoughts.
Coming back to the heart will give you the inner guidance to make choices based on your intuition and your desire to be whole and happy. Being with a new partner and feeling that newness of sensation, surprise and exploration is very stimulating to the brain, energy, and nervous system.
It can wash up a whole new wave of sexual energy which might have felt dormant in your existing relationship, especially if it’s a long term relationship.
” or “Would you be open to hearing about my new lover now?
” Sometimes we don’t know what’s up with another person, no matter how well we know them.
While my new partner and I do not practice this specific ritual, we often feel drawn into a similar pattern when we’ve been with another lover recently or away from each other for more than a few days.