One young couple I counseled years ago was in constant conflict about her family. This was part of the routine she and her daughter had followed for years before the marriage.
It can hurt a lot when you think about how much you gave your kids, how many sacrifices you made over the years, the countless times you put them first and now they can't even bother to call you occasionally. And so your feelings of hurt and anger and disappointment come out in a number of ways -- comments that start with "Is it asking a lot....?
" or "You should...." or "You owe me...." And then you feel dismissed as a guilt-mongering mom.
Conflicting Expectations -- Theirs: There are some adult children, always on the receiving end of parental largesse, who expect that nothing will change as the years go by.
Even when you retire and are on a fixed income, they ask for and expect financial help. And, for many just starting out in young adulthood with its endless horizons of possibilities, there is a tendency to deny the limits of time.
I specialize in counseling wives of sex addicts, and I often see women who haven’t told anyone about their husband’s addiction, sometimes for months or even years.
The lack of support available to spouses, and often inaccurate information being put out about partners of sexual addicts, can cause a wife to suffer additional trauma and feel like she is partially responsible for her husband’s behavior.
It is one thing to be loved, even better to be liked. I am fighting depression because I feel like such an outsider.
l limit my calls to once a week and sometimes she doesn't return my call.
And the comments continue to come in: I cry as I read the posts....
This blog covers concerns you may have about emotional issues, health, sexuality, marriage, love relationships, parenting, retirement planning and more. Kathy Mc Coy Official Website: anguish is palpable in the comments to my post about parents and adult children "Finding The Balance." Even though I wrote the post a year and a half ago, it is still by far -- every day -- the most read post I've ever written.
They call wanting me to drop everything to aid them. But when she needs babysitting, she'll call immediately. I raised them right and they are wonderful children in so many ways, but too busy to even give me a call. Barriers to Closeness Young Adult Developmental Issues: Noted psychiatrist Lee Robbins Gardener once told me that parents of adolescent and young adult children not only experience the empty nest, but also the battered nest when the young adults may devalue, in a number of different ways, home and family of origin in order to ease their passage out of the nest and into the world. One friend, who had enjoyed a wonderful relationship with her daughter growing up, found herself feeling embattled and rejected when her daughter went away to college.